Edition #029: Longlegs

There she is! The almost-birthday girl!

Look, I have a reasonable amount of brain cells. But the plot of Longlegs (2024) was unfollowable.

Which is fine. I’m not a plot girl. I care more about psychology, mythology, symbolism, and, as you know, celebrity.

So I was happy to see Nic Cage as a deranged, singing serial killer. I was happy to see Maika Monroe and Kiernan Shipka (Sally Draper!). I enjoyed the 90’s aesthetic and the mischievous creep-outs. The dolls. The occult. The mommy dearest of it all.

But y’all, this movie made no sense. In the moment, I was entertained, but thinking back, it all kind of falls apart.

So don’t think too much about it, okay?

No plot, just vibes.

What’s the deal?

Maika Monroe plays Lee Harker, an FBI agent investigating a series of Satanic murder-suicides linked to a killer who signs his letters "Longlegs."

Lee has a connection to Longlegs, but it's unclear if she knows it. She has all the affect of a damp napkin.

The investigation isn’t so much cat-and-mouse as it is willing surrender. Lee finds a polaroid of Longlegs among her things, IDs him, arrests him, and then he kills himself.

But then Lee’s mom starts killing people. It turns out she made a deal with Longlegs years ago to save Lee’s life, and now she’s his servant.

AND Longlegs has been living in Lee’s basement all along!

There’s way more stuff, but this is as clear as I could cut it.

^Who’s in charge of the remix?

I can’t stop thinking about…

Plot is overrated, yes?

Horror has become more mainstream, but its fringes remain. It’s like a bell curve: audience appetites may shift, but the shape of the curve remains the same.

While Longlegs was positioned as a mainstream Hollywood movie (more on that marketing disappointment another time), it’s actually quite avant-garde.

The plotting is non-linear and dreamlike — think Twin Peaks, but without as much polish and charisma. Events follow each other with little logic or foreshadowing. You have to suspend disbelief and let the movie carry you.

When dream logic works, you’re in form-mirrors-function heaven: the dream logic can enhance, not undermine, whatever plot is there. But when it doesn’t work, you’re stuck in “huh??” mode for 100+ minutes. Longlegs wavers between both.

Plot is comforting. Even if a movie takes place in a completely alien world, basic logic remains: time moves forward, cause and effect exists.

Without these aspects of plot, we lose our anchor to reality, and find ourselves stranded in uncanny and queasy territory.

You can reject this choice — hate it, even — or you can see it for what it is: a decision.

And if I want to like this movie, I have to assume that decision was intentional.

Or have we entirely lost the plot?

Horrorshow Jane